The randomest story EVER!
by PhantomLlama
Summary: . . . the title's self-explanitory . . . if you wanna good laugh, then this is the story for you!
1. Chapter 1

Ok, guys, I have to warn you … this is random!

**Characters:**

**What-ever-his-name-is:** a toothbrush with feet and a moustache!

**Squiggle McFartzworth:** a scribble with HUGE eyes and buck teeth!

**Sergeant Gooseberry:** a purple duck who speaks French and is a barber!

**Double-take Snake-bake:** a fluffy silver bunny with the nose of an aardvark and blood-stained ears!

**Phallempokh: **a mind-reading, green bee that explodes when is excited (this species of bee is called Cabbabage Tuft)!

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One day there was a toothbrush named ….. a toothbrush … named … um … we'll just call him What-ever-his-name-is!

Right, sooo, What-ever-his-name-is decided that he'd get his toe-nails clipped, an- … wait a sec … he doesn't have toe-nails! Ahh, well, he does now!

Back to the subject … What-ever-his-name-is decided to get his toe-nails clipped, so he swam on a pink paper-airplane all the way to Madagascar. Once he landed, he was greeted by a green bee.

"Excuse me, Mr…" What-ever-his-name-is stopped short, wondering what the bee's name was.

"Phallempokh" came a gurgling voice.

"Wha-?"

"My name is Phallempokh!" came the bee's voice again.

"Well, I'm What-ever-his-name-is!" the toothbrush introduced himself in vain – he LOVED his name!

"Let's go get your nails clipped!" cried the bee suddenly.

"How do you know what I was intending to do?" queried What-ever-his-name-is.

"Duh, I'm a Cabbabage Tuft!"

"Oh!"

"YUP! Now, let's clean-up those beastly nails!" the Cabbabage Tuft sounded excited.

_Uh-oh!_

**BAM!**

The bee was no-where to be seen.

With-that, What-ever-his-name-is set off on his quest to find someone to clip his nails…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

_Hmmm, what a strange dream_..."WTF?" What-ever-his-name-is was staring directly into the GIGANTIC eyes of a ….. scribble?

"Greetings, oh teeth-scrubbing one, I am Squiggle McFartzworth!"

"H-hi." the toothbrush was startled.

"H-hi? What is H-hi?"

This was one stupid scribble!

"It is a way to … it's another way to say 'Greetings'…"

Squiggle McFartzworth nodded.

"Do you know where to find a toe-nail-clipper? Some-one who will clip my nails?" What-ever-his-name-is tried to avert his eyes from the HUGE eyes, and sighted a pair of buck teeth that also belonged to the scribble. "WOAH!"

"WHOA!? What is WHOA!?" Squiggle McFartzworth asked yet again.

_Where was this guy from?_

"Saying 'WHOA!' is a way of showing your astonishment."

"I see… now, we must find someone to clip your toe-nails"

All of a sudden, a barber's shop appeared just beside What-ever-his-name-is.

"Ah, here we are!" for some reason, Squiggle McFartzworth sounded pleased with himself, "someone to cut your nails!"

"But that's a _barber_'s shop – barbers cut _hair_!" What-ever-his-name-is shook his bristly head.

"Oh, I'm sure the barber will do you a favour!"

The pair entered the shop.

"Bonjour, Messieurs, comment mai je vous aider?" a purple duck pattered toward them.

"He says _Hello, sirs, how may I help you?_" Squiggle McFartzworth informed the toothbrush.

"Mon nom est le Sergent Gooseberry!" the French duck quacked.

"He says _My name is Sergeant Gooseberry!_" the scribble told What-ever-his-name-is.

"Tell him that my name is What-ever-his-name-is and that I'd like my toe-nails clipped."

"Son nom est Tout-jamais-son-nom-est et qu'il aimerait ses orteils coupés." Squiggle McFartzworth gave the duck a shiny-toothed grin.

"Bien sûr! Par ici!" the barber-duck gestured to the toothbrush to follow him.

Within the next 4.35 years, What-ever-his-name-is finally had his toe-nails clipped and his moustache trimmed. During this time, he made friends with a rabbit named Double-take Snake-bake, and Phallempokh returned to tell the toothbrush that he and his Cabbabage Tuft family were moving to Uranus and Jupiter: half of the bees' house was going to be on Jupiter, and the other half on Uranus… or was it going to be _up_ it?!?


	2. Chapter 2

This is the second chapter to 'The randomest story EVER!' … hope you like it …

**Characters:**

**What-ever-his-name-is:** a toothbrush with feet and a moustache!

**Squiggle McFartzworth:** a scribble with HUGE eyes and buck teeth!

**Double-take Snake-bake:** a fluffy silver bunny with the nose of an aardvark and blood-stained ears!

**Geofreryanna:** a fish skeleton that communicates to Double-take Snake-bake by making '_bubbling_' noises.

**Poy:** a worm in the shape of an '_at_' sign - !

**Quogettar: **a tangled hairbrush wearing a bow in her bristles!

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"Nooooo!" murky tears fell from What-ever-his-name-is's bristles, "Why did he have to l-leave me?!? WHY?!? He was the first friend I h-had made in Madagascar …"

"At least Phallempokh's living happily with his Cabbabage Tuft family …" Double-take Snake-bake gave his toothbrush friend a hearty thump on the back … then stopped to breathe in, " …Do I smell … zucchini?!?"

"Th-they're my favourite snack," came What-ever-his-name-is's reply, "but they do tend to linger …" He rotated 360 degrees … and Double-take Snake-bake spotted one. He peeled a squashed zucchini off the toothbrush's back like a band-aid … then What-ever-his-name-is gobbled it up instantly.

"Ok …?" the rabbit shook his head softly, just enough to flick blood off his ears, "…You'll be alright, What-ever-his-name-is, you have Squiggle and me …"

"Talking about Squiggle … where is he?!?"

"Oh, um … I think he went on a 5 year sky-diving trip with his family… and he left 2 years ago…"

What-ever-his-name-is sniffed, "I wanna family, t-too" he whispered miserably.

This was too sudden for Double-take Snake-bake, "Wha-?!? … oh, is that why you where crying …?"

"Partially"

"THEN WE GOTTA SIGN YOU UP FOR **Perfect **!!! That's how I found my perfect match!" Double-take Snake-bake grinned.

"I d-didn't know you were in a relationship." murmured What-ever-his-name-is.

The rabbit looked puzzled, "Haven't I introduced you to Geofreryanna, yet?!?"

"N-nope…"

Double-take Snake-bake lifted a rock from beside him, revealing … a fish skeleton, "Da-da-daaaaa!!!"

_He sounds so pleased…_the toothbrush said to himself.

"Geofreryanna, I'd like you to meet What-ever-his-name-is. What-ever-his-name-is, this is Geofreryanna!"  
The fish skeleton dropped its bottom jaw and made a '_bubbling_' noise.  
"Oh, I forgot to introduce my daughter!" The rabbit pulled a worm out of his aardvark nose, "This is Poy!"  
Poy curled up into an shape.

"Sh-she has your eyes…" What-ever-his name-is couldn't think of anything else to say.

Suddenly, Double-take Snake-bake cried out, "NO SHE DOESN'T!!! …" He then gazed at his 'daughter', "she has my curl …"

"Oh … uh … y-yeah … I noticed. S-sorry, buddy…" What-ever-his-name-is felt ashamed.

"Well, this is supposed to be about you, not me ……… WE NEEDA SIGN YOU UP!!!"

And so, that is what the two best friends spent the next 17.2 hours doing – signing What-ever-his-name-is up for **Perfect **…

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"What-ever-his-name-is … we got a problem …"

"What is it, Double-take Snake-bake?"

"Well, I guess you'd classify this as a good problem … in a way …"

"WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?!?"

The rabbit lowered his ears, "You have 54,8293.78 matches!!!"

"Oh, crud …" What-ever-his-name-is slowly sat on the nearest object he could find, for he felt like he was going to faint. Unfortunately, the nearest object just happened to be a SEA-TURD!  
"Double crud …"

"How are we gonna sort this out, bud?" Double-take Snake-bake queried.

"…First, I gotta clean this turd offa me…" What-ever-his-name-is was now in a foul mood … and you'd probably now why …

"Then that's what we'll do!" cried the rabbit, "Let's clean you up! _Dress_ you up! Make you look as _handsome_ as ever!"

And that's what the pair did.  
What-ever-his-name-is had a 8.34 millisecond bath, and that one bath caused a whole lot of difference – what was once a dirty, dusty old toothbrush, was now sparkling and glimmering in the light! The toothbrush combed his (now very short) moustache, and his bristles, too … as well as trimming his toe-nails yet again.  
Then, Double-take Snake-bake and What-ever-his-name-is spent the next 5.7 months on **Perfect **, sorting out who could truly be the toothbrush's partner …

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"Here's one! Her name is … Quo… Quogatte … Quo-ge-ttar! Her name is Quogettar!" Double-take Snake-bake bounced with joy, "Oh, and she's a _hair-brush_…!"

"OMG!!!" screamed What-ever-his-name-is, "Gimme a look!!! Please, oh friend, move over so I can see her! … STOP HOGGING THE CHAIR!!!"

"B-but I'm not a _hog_…" murmured the rabbit.

What-ever-his-name-is didn't seem to hear, "She's _b-beautiful_…"

"Why don't we meet her …at … Hungry Jack's?"

"I'll ask her…" murmured the toothbrush, "…YES! We'll meet her in that Tic-tac container in the gutter! The one near Nook's Cranny!!! Tomorrow at 1:43 am."

Double-take Snake-bake hung his head, "I'm not a morning person…"

"We'll buy coffees!"

"Fine , we'll bu- … COFFEES!!! Yes, I'll come! I WILL COME! COFFEES!!!"

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Well, this story came to a good end for What-ever-his-name-is, and Double-take Snake-bake, too (but only because he had coffee!)  
It turns out, my friends, that Quogettar wasn't quite as beautiful as she looked on  
**Perfect ** (she **Photo-shopped** herself a little). To Double-take Snake-bake, Quogettar was _hideous_!** … **so hideous that he … um … saw … ate his lunch again … if you know what I mean …  
But to What-ever-his-name-is, Quogettar was still beautiful, and she had a great personality.  
So, peeps, let me sing you a little song …

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
_It's what's inside that counts, my friend  
It's not the peel, it's the orange  
It's what's inside that counts, my friend  
It's not the crust, it's the filling_

_So, if you're feeling blue  
Because somebody's copying you  
You don't automatically have to sue  
The world is big enough for two_

_It's what's inside that counts, my friend  
It's not the jacket, it's the tater (potato)  
It's what's inside that counts, my friend  
It's the moon, not the crater_

_It's what's inside that counts, my friend  
It's not the peel, it's the nana_

_GET OVER WHAT'S KEEPIN' YOU DOWN!!!_

^**  
(Part of) That song is courtesy of the Mighty Boosh!**

***Author's note*** - Did you enjoy reading this?!? I'm planning on writing a third chapter, sooo … vote in my poll if you wanna fourth chapter, too!  
PLZ REVIEW, AND BE NICE!  
Thanks for taking the time to read this ridiculous story!!!


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